Children's Books

When I got pregnant, right away I started looking forward to so many things, one of which was reading to my baby boy every night before putting him to bed. I have collected children's books since Roy and I started dating and could not wait to share them with our children. I think there is so much truth and so many lessons in children's books. In fact I took a course in college, called Children's Literature. (Instead of big textbooks, we had to purchase several children's books which was a welcomed change!) We read these books throughout the class and our professor always told us "dig deeper" to find the meaning. Sometimes this was not an easy task (with books with no words!) but other times I thought the meaning was right on the surface. This class and thinking has come back to me in the past few weeks.

Roy has started to read to Keagan at night. The night we made our decision to continue to carry our precious baby to term, Roy chose a book out of our collection without knowing much about it. Keagan's first book was titled "Mia Hamm Winners Never Quit." He said he chose this book because of the title and because we felt that our baby wasn't going to quit fighting, nor would we quit fighting for him. The story was about Mia Hamm, the soccer player, and the fact that she would quit every game before she would lose because she couldn't make a goal. The story goes through her frustration, but also her perserverance and ends with her scoring the game winning goal. A few lines in this story really stood out to me. They read "Mia kicked the ball as hard as she could. Maybe she'd score the goal. Maybe she wouldn't. But she was playing and that was more important than winning or losing." This last line really hit my heart. We do not know what will happen with baby Keagan. We know what doctors and medical research says, but we do not know God's will or plan. What we do know is Keagan is our son and all three of us were chosen to go through this. We love him unconditionally with all of our heart and will do so forever, and that is more important than any diagnosis or the length of his life on earth.


Another important book that Roy has read to Keagan is called "God Made You Special." This is a book from Keagan's Gramma and Papaw (my mom and dad) that also has so much truth and brings me to tears everytime I read it. It is a Veggie Tales book which makes it that much better :) I have decided to just copy the words here because, even though they are extremely simple, they show how our family feels about Keagan David exactly how they are written.

"God made the heavens, the land and the sea, the fish in the ocean, the birds and the bees. He grew all the plants, put fruit on the trees. He made everything - he even made me! He picked out my smile, my eyes, and my nose. He was very particular from my head to my toes. I'm just what he wanted, and I think it shows that he's really creative and all of heaven knows...He thought it all over. He made me just right. I make him happy - I am his delight. When I look in the mirror, I see his touch...'cause God made me special and he loves me very much! Sometimes I feel down. Sometimes I feel blue, Don't like something about me - it's sad but it's true. But then I'm reminded that God had a plan. He wants me to be just the way that I am. He thought it all over. He made me just right. I make him happy - I am his delight.When I look in the mirror, I see his touch...'cause God made me special and he loves me very much! God wasn't finished. No, he had more to do. He planned something wonderful - that's when he made you! He thought it all over. He got it just right. You make him happy - you are his delight. When you look in the mirror, you'll see his touch...'cause God made you special and he loves you very much!"

God made Keagan perfect, exactly the way He wanted him. He truly is so special and we know that all of this was part of God's plan. We still struggle with the why, but know that God "got it just right." Keagan is loved so much by Roy and I, our families, so many friends who have expresssed their feelings, and by his Father in Heaven.

Children's books are still one of my favorite things and I still look forward to reading to our baby boy as often as we can. The time when we read to Keagan allows us to bond with him, spend special quiet time with him and allows me to connect to these words and feel at peace with our situation.