This week has been rough for me. There has not been one thing that has upset me, but rather sadness has just been frequently present. On the other hand, there is one thing that kept me going - knowing I would get to celebrate Valentine's Day for the first time with my sweet baby boy. We did not get gifts for Keagan, but instead gave gifts from him or that involved him. One reason is nothing we could purchase would be perfect enough nor show the depths of our love to our son. Also, we think he would be the kind of kid who would much rather give than receive because this is how Roy and I both are.
To my husband and son, I want to share this quote from Rosemonde Gerard: "For you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow." I love these two boys with everything I have and am so thankful that God put them both in my life. We all grow closer as each day passes, and with each day my love grows greater and greater. For Valentine's Day today, Roy and I still celebrated as a married couple, but Keagan was at the forefront of our thoughts and actions, per usual :)
These are our memories from this holiday:
Gift from Gramma and Papaw
Gramma came over last night to drop off a gift to Roy and I and a card and gift for Keagan. (Papaw was out of town but sent his love and definitely wanted to be there!) Keagan's card, of course, was perfect and the heart shaped cookie came from my favorite bakery, "The Ribbon Box." I told Roy I was going to eat my cookie before bed, and Gramma made sure to correct me - it wasn't my cookie, it was Keagan's! :) He was already pretty active before I ate his cookie, but the sugar rush sent him into high speed. We are so grateful that Keagan's Gramma and Papaw love him so much (you'll see more about this below!) Keagan loves you Gramma and Papaw!!!!
Keagan's Valentines...He's a stud - there's three of them! :)
Grade school Valentine's parties are the best thing (not necessarily from a teacher's point of view, but I loved them as a student!) We wanted Keagan to be able to give out Valentine's to some special girls, and who better than some of our volleyball players! We love the girls that we coach, and are so thankful to these three for being Keagan's first valentines! Roy bought little Airheads with cards to give out from Baby K. He also established criteria for the girls - they had to be good at volleyball, and not be "airheads." These three met the criteria, and were with us last night anways. Thank you so much to Mickie, Katie and Zoey. As silly as this was, it means a lot to us! It also meant the world when Zoey and Katie stopped by our house today to drop off Valentines they handmade for Keagan. They were absolutely adorable cards and the words inside touched our hearts deeply. I know that if Keagan were to have a longer life on Earth, he would be growing up around volleyball and constantly surrounded by our girls. So having these three be involved in Keagan's first Valentine's Day was perfect. All three of us love all three of you! Thanks again!
Gifts from me to Roy
Keagan was the inspiration for both of these gifts. Roy purchased a red rose dipped in gold for his mom for Valentine's Day a couple of years ago, so this blue one was perfect for me to get him for this year. This rose and its beauty will live on forever, just as Keagan and his life will. It will be a wonderful reminder of his life for years to come. The ring was a difficult decision for me. I wanted something that perfectly captured our family. To be honest, I wasn't sure if Roy would even wear a ring on his right hand but I saw this ring and just went for it. My dad actually has a very similar ring, and that just confirmed my thoughts. On the right side there are three diamonds to represent the three of us. The sapphire is a lindy star. Not only does the blue represent our baby boy, but when light hits it it reflects out into different directions. I thought this was symbolic of how Keagan's life has went out and touched others, and how his light will continue to shine and show in others even after his earthly life is over.
Roy's gifts to me
I opened my card from Roy to find five "Family Vacation" tickets. They were labeled Baby Keagan, Mommy, Daddy, Papaw and Gramma. We know that Keagan would go on family vacations with us if he was not anencephalic, and he is going to go on one with us even with his condition thanks to my awesome husband. Roy asked Gramma and Papaw if they would go on an out-of-state road trip with us so Keagan could have his first family vacation! They said yes, and I'm guessing they did so with no hesitation. Another wonderful demonstration of love from Keagan's amazing grandparents. I am hoping you will click on the picture above to enlarge it so you can see all of the precious little details. The tickets are adorable and the vacation is going to be perfect. I can't wait to go on it and share our trip with all of you! Roy also gave me two beautiful Willow Tree figurines and a baby photo album as the one we have already is almost full from the pictures from all of our adventures. Thank you to my perfect husband and Keagan's perfect daddy!
Cards, of course!
This may seem silly, but we got each other cards from Keagan. Silly or not, we are glad that we will be able to cherish these simple cards forever. We wrote each other a little note inside of what we thought Keagan might write or think. Simple things like birthday or holiday cards with precious handwritten notes from our baby are not something I had thought about missing out on, but after giving and receiving these cards it registered with me. And while we feel that even though Keagan will not be able to tell us he loves us, he will always be with us and will find a way to show us his presence. And we will do everything we can to show others our love for him for as long as we live, on Valentine's Day and every day!
Happy Valentine's Day to you all! Please take this opportunity to tell and show those around you how much you love them on this special day, and really every chance you have.
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